Why I haven't posted in a week

I just posted the below on my weight loss site. I've been given charge of a major project at work and it's affecting me. I still lost 1kg this week though :) If I'm honest, I haven't posted all week cos things have been getting on top of me and I haven't been happy. I'm taking steps today to correct that but I'm not sure how it's going to work yet!!

So I'm writing it all out and seeing where it takes me :)


.....I had a serious aversion to posting on here today. I don't know why, but I have 5mins to spare and for some weird reason I just didn't want anyone to know I was alive......


So I figured I was better off posting and seeing why I didn't want to post.


First things first - well, yesterday food was consumed. A lot of food was consumed. 1000cals in Green and Black's alone. I need to tot that up.


I have spent a lot of time on my feet and walking but no formal exercise. That will hopefully be resolved this evening.


F&V has remained high and above the 5 a day line, but I feel like it's not in control anymore - it's more by accident than design I reach the 5 portions.


I'm guzzling water like there's a drought coming but I'm also guzzling coffee in a similar fashion and last night was the first night this week I didn't have magners. This isn't usual behaviour for me anymore!!!


Second - work. Well it's manic, but I have a meeting in half an hour that should provide clarification on several matters and I have managed to gouge out some interesting little bits to keep me sane while the project comes to fruition.


Third - sleep - it's not going well. I slept last night but I'm back to waking and feeling like I haven't slept at all. I think this is related to the lack of fresh air and exercise but I'm not sure. It could be because my body didn't get a rest last night cos my mind was churning and I'm back to (relatively low level) nightmares again. Will get my body exhausted through exercise tonight.


Fourth - generally - I feel myself wanting to retreat into myself again and not have contact with people in a social context. Al is still calling round most days but I'm not talking to friends or family like I normally do. I'm starting to use 'should' a lot in conversation again and the guilt is back - the constant anxiety that something isn't right or isn't going well or I've forgotten something.


I've taken some steps to adress the above - the meeting @ 11 is one of them - but I need to do something else as well.


It's the 11th February and I've yet to make it to the gym this year. The bag is in the car and ready to go but I allowed myself to drift into staying in work til 6 last night so I felt too tired to go..........


Not sure what the point of all this is but I feel better for having written it and this can count as social interaction right?